Changing it up

Forget this diet. I am breaking up with it. Fuggehedaboudit. It's been real, stressful annoyance. Peace out. Don't let the trashcan lid hit ya on your way down, Journal. I'm a laid back lady, this counting out 6 grapes and fearing they aren't all symmetrical and the same weight is too high maintenance for me. I'm someone who'd rather chart what I eat online, not in some ugly plastic orange binder. Sure, I lost weight, but I cheated more than once (more than ten). I always felt L-A-M-E mentioning it, and honestly, it turned me into one of those people who diet. Which I obviously am, at the moment, but honestly, can we be light about this and not obsess over the time bread can be consumed?

My company is subsidizing Weight Watchers, and some good folks I know have been successful on The Plan. Tried and true it seemed. And is! I lost 4 lbs this week, although I think my weigh in previously wasn't accurate due to water retention (you know you read this for sexy, witty lines like that one).

Anyways, BIG NEWS: beans are back! Legumes, come to Mama! I never missed something so much (aside from heavy cream and maple syrup and buttered toast). All that protein on the previous plan had to strictly come from four-legged sources. No tofu, no peanut butter, no cottage cheese, no beans. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I love me some beans, and am so happy to see their return.

This recipe was inspired by a Whole Paycheck card. And the rainbow chard that was on sale.

White Beans and Rainbow Chard Ragout

2 1/2 cups chicken stock

1 large yellow onion, diced

5 cloves of garlic, minced

2/3 white wine

4 teaspoons fresh rosemary, chopped

1 tsp dried thyme

12 ounces wild mix mushrooms, finely sliced

2 teaspoons soy sauce

1 tablespoon spelt flour

1 can white beans, drained and rinsed

2 bunches rainbow chard, stems chopped finely and greens torn

Pepper to taste

Bring 1/4 cup chicken stock to simmer in a large saute pan on medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic. Cook until soft, about 6-7 minutes. Add rosemary and thyme. Stir in wine and cook for 2 minutes until slightly reduced. Add mushrooms. Reduce heat to low and cover. Cook for 5 minutes, until mushrooms are very tender. Stir in remaining broth and turn heat to medium-high. In a small bowl, whisk soy sauce and spelt flour together. Add tablespoon or so of hot stock mixture. Whisk until smooth. Add to pan. Cook for 1-2 minutes, stirring soy sauce mixture until well incorporated and broth starts to thicken. Add beans and greens, in batches. Continue to cook for 5-6 minutes. Beans should be warm through out and greens wilted. Season with pepper, and relish in the carbs, protein and vegetable-deliciousness.

I'd serve this atop some polenta or in a bowl with a crusty tear of bread to sop up the ragout goodness. Any kind of green could sub the rainbow chard: regular chard, kale, mustard greens, collards...

Boom!

So, I've been on hiatus. Or more accurately, feeling creatively stifled in the kitchen with "The Diet." Oy, it's so lame. But it's working. I've never attempted any sort of food restriction- er, make that restriction in general. I pretty much let it flow, do my thing, and if stuff isn't the way I want, I reflect and readjust. This.is.hard.

I'm down to five weeks left (woohoo!!!), and have been 90% good on following this bad boy. I have had a few slip ups, but nothing too serious... Let's see: three digit bar bills and small plates of steak tartar, deep fried poached eggs, bone marrow and lamb cassoulet with E and his boy, which was much too much fun, missed my train, and had to wake up, still intoxicated, at 7 am to get home for an 830 am meeting; B's recipe party and her addictive Cambodian hot wings and A's Oreo truffles; the few gin and tonics I threw back on a Fort Myers-Atlanta-Manchester flight; Bloody Marys with new friends in Reagan-National courtesy of Delta and some bartender, the free glasses o' wine and quesadillas at the TFA event in DC, drink tix at some rando nightclub in DC, iced coffee with R yesterday (with cream- OMG- cream!!(*@*@ where have you been the past 5 weeks!?) the granola bar I just split with H and capped my evening off with... Ok... Reflection: 75% may be more accurate. Whatevs.

I also tried to be forthright in my meetings with the group, admit to my slips ups, be present in the group and one with the challenge. Yeah, that worked out well. They were so supportive (insert eye roll here). One woman, when I mentioned I may have imbibed a small amount of vodka the previous Saturday, screamed across the Circle of Trust, " THERE IS NO ALCOHOL ON THIS DIET!!!!!!!" God, get her a Melba Toast. I think her blood sugar just dropped through the basement. Who begrudges or judges someone a smidgen of vodka? Can you imagine what Exorcist-head spinning would've occurred should I truly 'fessed to the carnage I laid waste to at the bar(s)*?

I was seriously taken back by her reaction. And the dirty looks I received. Murphy O'Meyer. So, tonight, did I mention I polished off H's grilled cheese crust at dinner Monday night while I waited for my boneless, skinless piece of leather? Hell no! We are apparently not in the Circle here: it's not only a competition amongst the other teams, but also among ourselves. I think that's sad. I mean, sure, when that crazy starved Bostonian about bit my head off for a little extra protein, what I really wanted to yell back was, "Listen lady, I am sooooo sorry you only lost .5 lbs this week and followed this ludicrous plan to the T. I am so sorry that I have FUN and sometimes my fun (well, a lot of the time) includes a drink (or three)! Also, totally want to apologize that I lost 2.5 lbs and threw back some forbidden elixir. Kiss Kiss!" But I held my tongue and just sort of stared at her because really, cutting her down does what? But in my mind, oh in my mind...

Despite the setbacks in the kitchen, I have adapted a few tasty dishes to fit the rules. This is a quick, quick meal, pretty good looking, and actually, kind of sophisticated-rugged. The amount of protein in this diet has been hard for me to swallow (literally: I have to water-chase every bite of ground bland turkey), but I love scallops. They are pretty darn expensive though- about $13.5/lb here. Trader Joe's has frozen ones, but you can't get them dry enough for a good sear. I splurge each week and get a pound to enjoy over two days (I have to eat eight ounces per serving). They are like large pearls of tastiness. Love them. And cabbage has diuretic properties. All the better to help pee out my slip ups.

And S: this here's a shout out to you. Keep going with your soon-be-svelte self. No reason not to be a hotter than you already are! BOOM!


Seared Scallops and Cabbage Salad

8 ounces dry boat scallops (large ones, not smaller bay ones)
1 cup raw shredded purple cabbage
1-2 clove(s) minced fresh garlic (more or less for preference)
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 ounce finely grated part-skim Parmesan cheese
Freshly ground cracked black pepper
Cooking spray

Heat a medium non-stick sauté pan over medium-high heat. Dry scallops on paper towels to remove any moisture. Season with pepper. Once pan is hot, spray with cooking spray. Place scallops in pan without crowding or touching. Sear on each side for 2-3 minutes. The scallops should still be soft in the middle and slightly translucent, but with a golden sear on top and bottom. Set to the side.

Prepare salad while scallops are cooking. In a jam jar, blend garlic, pepper, oil and lemon juice. Shake vigorously. In a bowl, toss cabbage with dressing. Add cheese and toss again. Top with scallops. Season with more pepper, if desired.

Shrimp would probably work really well too. I would try the huge tiger prawns though. Frozen shrimp works well: you're still able to get it nice and pink and juicy. If you're not dieting, add that salt and maybe a little more olive oil to the dressing!

*If you're a stranger here, or even a friend: no need for an intervention. It just seems alcohol is a lot easier to justify a cheat here (and there) than, say, a cupcake.

Your body is a temple... for buffalo, radishes, cucumbers, sprouts and lettuce

I changed directions on this blog because I heart food. I adore talking about food. I love learning about different cultures through their food. When I travel, I enjoy gorging on the local fare. Herein lies the rub: I travel. A Lot. for work. And gorge I do. Working from home these past few years hasn't helped the situation either. I previously noted that sometimes I forgo trips to the mailbox due to laziness. Having a baby and being the only parent on a day-to-day basis has decreased my free time for exercise. Hence my metabolism has gone on strike. It's all, "Listen lady, we know you have a penchant for the sweeter stuff in life, but we don't have the gumption to keep on keepin' on. Peace!" So here I sit, the day after I was weighed for the first time in... a long time. It's not just my closet that is speaking out, people. That scale screamed at me- LAZY BONES, LET'S GET MOVING AND START TO EAT BETTER. The yell didn't fall on deaf ears.

I joined a team at my gym with six other women who also want to get up and get back into their favorite outfits. We are training together twice a week, and have all kinds of competitions. There are several teams, and we compete against each other- team vs. team. I am uber competitive: I am the person next to you at the light who will slam on her gas (and burn rubber) to beat you on divided highway; I make up pretend speed-walking competitions when I am taking out the trash. I can be a little crazy (see previous posts) when it comes to being the best. Also, because there was a hefty fee associated with the program, as well as daycare costs, new non-stick pans purchased, and a major revamp of the groceries I keep (Melba Toast, anyone?), I am firmly committed to finishing these 10 weeks with (almost) complete devotion and minimal deviance.

They gave us food journals and lists of approved foods. Majah adjustment for me. It's not so much that I eat poorly- the biggest part of my grocery bill (pre-slim down) is vegetables, then dairy, then fruits. The problem is in my portion size, when I eat and how I prepare the produce. I eat most meals alone or in the company of a picky four-year old. When I think back to when I was a much healthier weight, I was surrounded by people for nearly every meal. The conversation, back and forth banter, and just general interaction over broken bread gave me time to digest and process my food. I rarely finished my plate at restaurants because I ate slowly and stopped when I felt full. Now, I have next to no routine for meals save dinner, which I eat around 6-7 pm every night. It's also my biggest meal. I usually spend it at the table, chastising and coaxing and bribing my child to consume something, while I myself wolf down the entire plate of whatever delectable thing I made (usually prepared in quantities enough for two despite my being a Singleton). During the day, after I drop off H at school, I may grab a coffee or brew some at home. I had thwarted this habit this fall, but it came back like a sciatica attack. Did I mention I like my coffee the color of me, tan, in the summer? Oh yeah, it gets that way with the help of half'n' half. Then, I will generally forget to eat until 3 pm and/ or when I am so hungry I turn into the Incredible Hulk-cum-Stay-Puft-Marshmallow-Monster-from-Ghostbusters, and consume, while standing up and rummaging counter tops and cupboards, anything that is available: chocolate chip granola bars, pop chips, leftover tuna salad, cold roasted vegetables. See, none of the things I eat are terribly bad for a person; it's the quantity in which I eat them. And the fact that I move very little, save my fingers and mouth, during my work day (I realize this sounds like my job is "interesting"- it's actually very PG).

I also need to have something sweet every night, at about 9 pm. That may consist of hot chocolate or a piece of dark chocolate or some ice cream or one (or three) of whatever baked good I have around the house. Another killer nightly habit. I am a total late-night sweetie, and not in a good way.

I hope I don't sound like a Weight Watchers ad or one of those icky diet pill commercials, but my main motivation for getting back into better shape and a more healthy weight is because I hate the way I look in pictures lately. I don't want my daughter to grow up with few snapshots of her and her mom because her mom is vain, plump lady. My closet full of a-m-a-z-i-n-g items I no longer can fit into is also a huge help in getting my butt off the loveseat to put strictly celery in my mouth (10 weeks... 10 weeks...).

This diet is strict. But it's only 10 weeks. It's only 1o weeks. It's only 10 weeks. Oh sorry, it's become my mantra. I am thinking of this diet as reboot, a hard reset for my body and relationship with eating and exercise. It's a pretty rigid schedule of eating but there are some allowances. Like, I get to eat up to two pounds of protein a day. Um, as previously mentioned, I am not a huge carnal consumer. I much prefer eggs and yogurt to filets and shoulders. I had an 8 oz buffalo burger for lunch, and I am pretty sure it's still chillin' in my stomach. The free foods I can eat whenever I want to are cucumbers, radishes, alfalfa sprouts, and lettuce (if I were more sarcastic, I would end with an exclamation point). Mmmmm, if I were the Velveteen Rabbit, I'd be in 7th heaven. But I am not. I am someone who loves to eat radishes! On buttered toast! Sprouts are delicious! On a cheeseburger with avocado! I am a very visual person; I cannot visualize myself casually grabbing some sprouts growing in a container on my window sill and mowing down. Imagine the flossing I would have to endure!

I received the meal plan blues, I mean, news last night. After the sobs subsided and my vision wasn't so bleary through the tears (just kidding, but I did hyperventilate a little), I scoured the pages of approved foods. At this point, I am grateful I love food so much: I am going to ROCK this list with cool recipes to best showcase these foods. I had a bunch of Kale in the fridge, saved for Caldo Verde soup (linguisa-potato-soup-deliciousness), which is so not going to happen for at least 10 weeks. So, when life leads you to a diet and fridge with kale, make kale chips.

Kale Chips

These taste a bit like seaweed in that delicious Umami way.

1 huge head of kale
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons course salt
fresh ground pepper to taste (I am a pepper junkie)

Heat the oven to 300F. Rip the kale apart into bite size pieces. Wash, strain and dry well. Drizzle with olive oil. Season with S&P. Toss in a large bowl until well dressed. On a parchment-lined baking sheet, spread the kale out in a single layer (you may need multiple baking sheets or have several rounds on the same pan). Cook for 25-30 minutes. Kale will look shriveled, dark and tinier. It will feel crunchy. My diet says a half cup is all I get of cooked veg, but go ahead, eat 3/4 cup, people of free will.